Published on Learning Mind!

Hi all! I wanted to share a post of mine that was published on the Learning Mind! It’s always a honor to collaborate with them. This article is about handling challenging emotions with mindfulness and care. Check it out!

Click here!

Sneak peek:

Feelings are a part of the human experience. They’re not something to fix like a broken dishwasher or analyze like a math equation. They’re to be held with curiosity and compassion.

Feelings come as visitors and although some feelings are more pleasant than others, it is important not to push away the harder ones in life. Doesn’t the sweet blossom of spring need a little rain to grow?

Life Lessons From Pasta Making: Art, Quality, Tradition.

I recently returned to Italy with my sister which was a dream come true for me. It had been 14 years since we’d been there together—I was 13 at the time and she was 16. And let me tell you, going to Italy as an adult has a lot of fun bonuses. Did someone say aperol spritz?

I could go on about how meaningful the richness of the culture and warmth of the people just feel like a big hug to the soul, or how the food is so satisfying and enjoyable you wonder if you’ve ever truly eaten before. But if you read anything on Italy, those topics are surely already covered!

My sister and I had 3 main destinations: Rome, Elba island, and Florence. Each one left its special imprint on my heart, but none quite as much as the lessons I took away from the pasta cooking class we did in Florence. So I thought I’d share the top three take aways from the pasta class.

The cooking class was just a few blocks away from Ponte Vecchio. So of course on our way to the class, my sister and I grabbed a Nutella stuffed cornetto and ate it alongside the river overlooking il ponto famoso—the famous bridge! I felt my heart asking over and over again: “Is this truly my life right now?!” After we wiped the Nutella off our lips and missed the turn to our cooking class only to retrace our steps through the narrow streets—i vicoli—we finally made it there (mind you, we were still 4 minutes early).

We walk inside and a small group of 8 people or so are gathered in a room, some on couches, others still standing. There’s a palatable excitement in the room. I look over on the wall and see a sign that says “Dolce far niente” which means “the sweetness of doing nothing.” I’ve already written an article on this Italian philosphy. You can find that article here. On another wall reads a quote that says:

“The most important ingredient is love.”

Class begins. We add an egg to our pre-portioned bowls of flour (1 egg for every 100g of 00 semolina flour) and each start mixing with our hands—just like any Italian nonna does! My sister and I happen to be next to the most wonderful couple who we learned had been married for several decades. As we are rolling out our dough and in-between the guidance from the teacher, we learn that this couple had spent their first week in Italy in the hospital because the wife had an appendicitis. You’d never know this couple had been through such a stressor just a fews days prior to the class. I suppose that’s the power of pasta! This made me think: making pasta isn’t just about the ingredients, it’s about the connection and conversation you have while making it. Although I never got to meet my Italian nonna, it made me think, had I been able to roll out pasta alongside her we’d have the most pleasant and meaningful conversations. Perhaps that’s where so much wisdom is shared amongst friends and family. You don’t just make pasta, you make memories that last.

Class continues. We roll out the dough using a wooden “chitarra” (it looks similar to a guitar) to make fettuccine and a small square stamp-like object to form tortellini. Our hands are covered in flour and our faces covered with smiles. Laughter fills the room like a musical serenade and many share their special connection to Italian culture. After all the dough is carefully formed, we all head to the table while the pasta cooks. When making fresh pasta, it only takes a few minutes to cook once added to a pot of hot water (salted!). We sip our wine as we snack on taralli, a common Italian cracker. Does life get better?

Soon after, the pasta is served. There’s a special bond about preparing a meal together, especially one that has so much history and cultural pride as pasta does. The meal is delicious. As we eat together, I realize there’s an art to making the texture of fresh pasta perfect—not too thick, not too thin, and definitely not gummy. If there’s anything I’ve learned about the Italians—other than their love for good food!—it’s that they are incredibly affirmative and encouraging. Our chef-teacher comes to join us at il tavolo and remarks on the pasta we made being the best he’d have all day (mind you, it was his first and only class of the day. But that’s unnecessary information). Class finishes and in full Italian style we all hug each other goodbye. No longer strangers, but famiglia.

As I reflected after the class, I realized why the experience felt so meaningful. As I’d read on the wall: “The most important ingredient is love”, I realized more deeply what that meant. For Italians, pasta is an art. It’s about quality. They take pride not only in the making of it, but the history and method behind making it. Truly, it’s full of tradition that dates back hundreds of years. Each shape of pasta is paired properly with a different sauce which is carefully paired with a complementary wine.

I believe if we all crafted our lives with the same attention and care as Italians make pasta, our lives would change drastically! What better way to live than to focus on creating our lives artfully, focusing on the quality of the things that surround us (quality of relationships, our habits, nourishment, emotional wellbeing, etc) and connecting with the roots that make us who we are?

I hope this helps you feel the warmth and coziness of remembering your own family traditions. And perhaps you can embrace and gain inspiration from the delight of Italian culture by making yourself a big pot of pasta! Buon appetito!

Lessons from La Dolce Vita: How it changed my relationship to food and living.

Photo: Riomaggiore, Italy

I recently had the opportunity of traveling to my favorite country of all time — Italia! Truly, it was a dream come true to return back for the first time in 14 years, this time as an adult. Now there are countless reasons why so many people love Italy—I mean, come on, pasta and gelato everyday? Sign me up!

And while, yes, the food is a huge draw to the country and richness of their culture, I think it goes far deeper than that. As Americans we are driven by filled schedules, multiple letters after our name, endless striving, and truthfully, a fear of actually living life. We are so busy bustling around, I think we’ve forgotten the art of what a truly meaningful life consists of. I touched upon this more in my previous article “The Italian Art of Leisure and Joy”, but I believe there’s still more to it.

I approached my trip with two intentions in mind:  to fully embrace la dolce vita (the sweet life) and embody dolce far niente (the sweetness of doing nothing).  I had a vision of what that would look like:  let’s see, start the day with a cornetto and espresso seated outside il bar, then wander along the beautiful, colorful streets along the coast, speaking to the locals whenever possible, and fully embracing all that the culture has to teach me. Oh, and end the night with gelato, perfetto!

Like any “perfect plan” that is set in motion, things didn’t quite go as planned, but I can truthfully say I immersed myself in the culture and soaked in every possibility to its fullest! (Although I didn’t leave the country with a job offer at il ristorante, I did make a few connections that could potentially get me a job… I think?). I wasn’t quite sure what fully encompassed la dolce vita and dolce far niente and as a recovering striver, I wasn’t sure how I’d respond to releasing complete control of my routine, my environment, my schedule.

I think that’s where the sweetness came in. I allowed myself to live so differently from what I’m used to. I barely ate a vegetable in 10 whole days. I never lifted a weight. I didn’t even see a gym! So many of the things that give me structure weren't there. And leaning into what the culture did have truly left an imprint on me. I’d like to share those take-aways with you, as they have changed the way I look at my own everyday living and inspired me to honor my life—and joy and serenity—through the lens of la dolce vita.

Here are 5 lessons I learned to live out la dolce vita:

1. Everyone is family.  All of the stereotypes about Italian friendliness is true. The way they embraced my friends and me as though we were their family (rather than bustled and jostled around travelers) made us feel so welcomed, so embraced— a sense of belonging. They treat everyone as if they are at Sunday supper! This truly was one of the best experiences of the entire trip for me. It’s all about connection.

2. Simple routine. There is nothing quite as simple, yet sweet, as the daily routine al bar (which in Italy is equivalent to our cafes):   seeing the same, welcoming barista every morning, being greeted with a friendly buon giorno!, and sipping the first few moments of the day (and espresso) overlooking the water.  The Italians have their own type of routine:  espresso by morning, pasta by evening. Repeat. Let me tell you, I can get behind that! Italians aren’t afraid to enjoy life. Their daily routines are important to them and they make it count, too. It’s enjoyable, leisurely, and based around community.

3. Fresh, fresh, fresh. I can still taste the tomato sauce on my lips as I call to mind the margarita pizza I had in Riomaggiare (one of the five towns in Cinque Terre). I swear the tomato was taken off the vine earlier that day. It was the freshest sauce I’ve ever had. I have never felt freer than when eating the fresh food in Italy. Everything digested so well despite eating all of the foods that America attaches so much judgment towards. The Italians know how to savor and they make even the simplest ingredients taste like it was made for royalty!

4. Walk, walk, walk.  Let me tell you, I didn’t miss the gym. 380 zig-zagging steps from the bottom of the train station to the top of Corniglia where we stayed…I LOVED IT! Walking was a huge part of everyday living. I loved how it was effortlessly woven into each day. Whether it was walking to the train station, or through the different towns, or even walking to get dinner or gelato. It was such a pleasant, delightful, and functional form of everyday transportation. Not to mention, it helps with digestion and allows you to enjoy the panoramic views!

5. Enjoyment is a priority. Whether it’s dining around the table or walking through a piazza and stumbling across a celebration in the streets with free lemon cake and live music (true story), Italians know how to live!  Eating pasta isn’t a source of shame or equated with  “breaking the diet” the way it is in the US. Perhaps the most beautiful and priceless gift of all that Italy taught me is to loosen my grip on what “healthy” is. A healthy outlook, a free mind and spirit, less stress and striving, is better than 10 servings of fruits and vegetables everyday. Life can only be truly savored when you allow yourself to enjoy the little things!

I’ve reflected on how I can bring the la dolce vita approach to my own life. Ambiance is important. Working outside under a park bench is lovely, bringing a homemade espresso to enjoy alongside is living. As I continue to deepen my understanding of the culture, I’m sure I’ll continue to be inspired by the Italians’ sweet, simple way of life. I hope these 5 lessons help inspire you to deepen your appreciation of the simple, sweetness of life. And I hope that if you’ve not yet traveled to Italy, you do so. May it awaken a joy and feeling of abundance in your heart, the way it continues to do to mine!

The Italian Art of Leisure and Joy: Dolce Far Niente

I am seated on a park bench. The trees sway in the wind. The squirrels ruffle in the grass. The birds sing from the treetops.  It feels as though I am in a real life painting. A deep sense of contentment and restfulness wash over me as the breeze brushes across my skin. These moments of reprieve I call “empty spaces.”

This feeling, so serene, made me realize how nourished I feel when I take time for those moments of stillness. I found myself reflecting upon those moments of empty space hidden throughout each day and how necessary they are for me in order to feel clear headed. Those moments where I typically reach for my phone while I’m in line at the grocery store or as I wait to meet up with a friend. However, those are micro moments that can be used as mini meditation reboots, to come back to myself, to notice life’s inherent beauty, to simply notice what’s around me. Pockets of peace, a landing spot each day, an opportunity for mindfulness to re-establish a sense of presence and participation in my own life.

Yesterday, I had an afternoon free of any obligations, commitments, and must-do chores. I cannot remember the last time I had that open space in my day. I found myself thinking:  “How can I optimize this time most productively?” I started thinking of errands I could do to get ahead, chores I could get done, people I could reach out to. My inclination was “how can I fill the empty space?”  I was taken aback by how instinctive it was for me to try and fill that open gap in my day.

Counterintuitively, I chose not to fill the empty space. Instead, I chose to be fully present, and let the empty space remain just that. I leaned into this opportunity for leisure and rest which is harder than it seems.  I laid on a park bench and let the sun gaze upon my face. I looked up at the trees and enjoyed their serene presence. I smiled as I watched the wind gently sway the branches and dance with the leaves amidst the treetops.

I practiced presence.

I felt like I was reconnecting with my soul’s energy charging system:   mindfulness, nature, and stillness.

It made me think of an Italian phrase I recently came upon that describes this so simply, yet poignantly:

Dolce far niente.

It means the sweetness, the joy, the pleasure of doing nothing. How beautiful is that? How would our lives and inner world transform if we allowed ourselves this room for leisure and simplicity? Allowing empty spaces to be empty spaces, whether it’s five minutes between meetings or a glorious 2 hours on a Sunday afternoon?

Empty spaces are a landing place to admire the view of life, to come back home to ourselves, to feel our breath, much like a landing place while on a hike. A moment of reprieve. We find that those moments to catch our breath—both figuratively and literally—are truly necessary in order to keep up with life and enjoy the view.

I gently urge you to notice these empty spaces throughout your day and simply allow them to be just that. A gift to honor life’s ordinary sacredness. A practice of presence. An opportunity to leave empty, not filling it with busyness, distraction, and unnecessary obligation.

I understand we all have different time limitations. I understand this is a form of privilege to have the ability for “dolce far niente.” However, I truly believe it is required in order to live a life that doesn’t just pass us by. No matter how much time you have, this is something to be cultivated.

Below are some ideas to practice cultivating those moments of empty space in your life, inspired by the Italian way of dolce far niente:

First ask yourself:

What does rest look like to me? What makes me feel restored?

What comes to mind when I think of living leisurely?

Think of dolce far niente as allowing your mind and soul to feel the joy and contentment we often equate with going on vacation except we are implementing this throughout our ordinary day and week. When we live this way, our actual vacations become an extension of this interior contentment, not an escape from a life that is too demanding, impossibly busy and much too stressful. We don’t want to show up in life as burnt toast.

Everyone is different. For some, true rest is getting into the kitchen and making homemade pasta. For others, it’s reading quietly by a brook surrounded by all of the nature sounds. Take an inventory of your energy needs and go from there.

How to create your own daily dolce far niente experience:

Notice the empty spaces throughout your day. Instead of filling them up with one more thing, take this as a mini meditation reboot. Focus on your breath, look around you, savor what’s in front of you. Or, build a connection with someone next to you in line at the grocery store. Pay them a compliment, an act of kindness. This brings sweetness, joy and pleasure into ordinary moments. That’s what it’s all about!

Be mindful and protect your energy and emotional reserves. If you feel your tank is getting close to  empty, that’s a sign that you need to take a step back and recalibrate. Rather than waiting until you’ve crashed and burned, turn to the wisdom of dolce far niente, lean back, and do something leisurely for yourself. If that feels impossible to do, the more important it is that you do it. “Doing nothing” isn’t lazy. It’s called rest. We all need it. Honor it.

Dolce far niente is beautiful to be experienced alone, or in community with others. It’s about true connection, not about the highlight reel. Delete your social media for a day or even a week. Notice how many empty spaces you have in your day without even having to try! Take that extra time to spend intentionally and mindfully. Create space for leisure simplicity, whatever that means for you.

Be mindful of when you check your emails and when you catch up on texts. I often set aside a specific time and set a timer to respond to texts that have accumulated throughout the day. I call these “technology errands” and it helps me to compartmentalize texting throughout the day.

I hope these tips inspire you to seek out the sweetness, joy, and pleasure of leisure simplicity and help create space in your life.  May you experience the Italian art of “Dolce far niente.”  And hey, while you’re at it, go ahead and make yourself a bowl of pasta and eat it with your full attention! We’ll call it pasta meditation—it very well may be your favorite meditation yet! .

P.S. The picture featured above was taken when I was in Italy in June. It was my favorite dish there: trennete al pesto! Deliziosa!

I'm Published on The Mighty!!!

I’m thrilled to share that one of my previous blogposts (September’s post “Recovery”) has been published on The Mighty! If you’re not familiar with The Mighty, it’s a mental health website that has stories from many different contributors on a wide variety of mental health topics. It ranges from depression and anxiety to chronic illness and autism. As long as those topics aren’t triggering for you, I recommend checking out the website. It can be really eye-opening and informative. Everyone deserves to have a voice and their story shared. I’m honored to have mine a part of their platform. <3

To check out my article, go here: 6 Strategies for Eating Disorder Recovery and Healing
To visit The Mighty’s home page, go here: The Mighty

How To Choose An Intention For The Year - NOT A NEW YEARS RESOLUTION!

Ahh. The New Year has begun. Have you recovered from the hustle and bustle of the holidays? I feel as though I’m just starting to resettle after Christmas and New Years and all of the things that this busy time of year brings!

As I mentioned in my previous post, “Reflections and Intentions”, I love choosing a word or two as a little guide for me to stay connected to my inner growth, to keep my focus as we re-enter the New Year. I think all of my intentions have always been an effort to navigate towards these three things:

1) being more present;
2) experiencing more inner freedom;
3) being the truest version of myself;

When I slow down, everything has a sacredness; the simple joy of pouring my tea and seeing the swirling milk and the steam rise; leaving for work just a few minutes early so that I don’t feel the hovering tick of time as I hit every red light; but rather, I notice the pitter patter of rhythmic rain as it falls to my windshield; These are all such simple, sacred moments and when I slow down enough to be fully present for them, they ground me. It’s healing.

In contrast, nothing is sacred when done from a place of striving and urgency. Staying “productive” up until the very last minute before leaving for work brings a frantic energy into my drive which makes me feel overwhelmed and impatient behind the wheel. The irony of rushing to go teach yoga class! Face palm. It’s true, even your most “woke” yoga teachers have their pitfalls!

My question for you and for me: are you living from a place of relentless effort, or effortless ease and calm? Does your to-do list include things that bring you joy, freedom and playfulness? Does your to-do list honor your mind and body’s need for rest and down-regulating from life’s demands? If not, I invite you to start implementing that. Joy nourishes the mind, body, and soul.

With all that said (drum roll please), I’ve chosen this year’s words: freedom and service.

To me, freedom means:
letting go of perfection
leaning into spontaneity and playfulness
choosing positive memories around food with friends, rather than religiously “sticking to the plan”
prioritizing joy as it pertains to movement, how I spend my time, the food choices I make
mental flexibility (not everything in life needs to be routined and structured)
challenging my self-beliefs
mindfully choosing authenticity over perfection

Earlier last year in my article, 4 Ways You Can Start Healing Today, I referenced the yogic philosophy "seva” which translates as “self-less service.” I believe the more I am connected and committed to my purpose, the more I can serve others from the deepest, truest place in my heart and soul. Isn’t that what we all want?

To me, service looks like:
1) Intentional acts of kindness: What is one, intentional thing I can do to show kindness today?
2) Deepening my knowledge in my areas of expertise: whether it be in yoga, mindfulness, personal training, nutrition etc. What’s the most I can give to each person I have the honor of working with?
3) “Wise use of energy” — in yoga this is one of the “Yamas” which are “guiding principles” to help relieve suffering. Am I spending my time and energy on things that lead me to the truest, freest version of myself? Or am I striving?

Are you interested in choosing a word or two to guide and inspire you? Are you feeling a little stuck or unsure where to begin?

How To Choose An Intention For The Year:

I suggest taking some time aside to reflect on how you want to feel (“energized,” “rested”, “connected”, “joyful”). What words embody that feeling for you? For example, in therapy I’ve become keenly aware of all the rigid rules I’d been imprisoning myself with. And that’s truly how I felt: encaged. This is why the word “freedom” really sparked light into my soul.

If you’re having trouble coming up with something that really strikes a chord, notice over the next few days if there are any themes that come up, whether you notice yourself thinking “gosh I used to have so much more energy” or “wow I should do ___ more often, that sparked joy today!” Perhaps there are external cues. Examples: someone complimenting you on your work and realizing you have something special in that area, or the same word keeps reappearing in conversation, or you find yourself having reoccurring feelings (good or bad). I believe these are “spiritual wake up calls” and it’s up to us to be open to seeing them!

Some other questions that may help:

When do you feel most fully alive?
What would inspire you to feel more focused and committed to your sense of purpose and aliveness?
What’s something you want to learn more about?
What’s something you love that you wish you “did more often”?

Lean into the insights that come up here! Dream! I believe intentions open our eyes to see opportunities, next steps, and even new horizons!

Sending so much love and serenity as we enter this New Year together,

Colleen

Blog

Reflections and Intentions.

As the year comes to an end, I know many of us feel the busy and tizzy of the holidays. But all the more it is important to step back and slow down, even if it’s just for 10 minutes; as we all know, life doesn’t stop and passes by way too quickly unless we learn to slow down and stop. I hope you take a few moments for yourself to reflect on the past year, your growth, your victories, and even the moments that may have been challenging.

Here are a few questions to get you started:

1. What were 3 unexpected blessings that happened this year for you? Can you take a moment to really feel that gratitude? Do you notice any sensations in your body as you call this to mind?
2. What is 1 thing you are really proud of yourself for? Why? (Note: if you struggle to feel proud of yourself that’s ok. Lean into that. Why is it hard for you to feel proud of yourself? Do you feel undeserving? How come? etc).
3. What’s 1 thing you learned about yourself this year, as it pertains to your own joy and happiness? How can you lean into that in the upcoming year?
4. What’s 1 way you discovered untapped resilience and courage in yourself this year? How did it feel in the moment and how does it feel now looking back?
5. What’s one thing you can do each day from now to the New Year to slow down and be fully present?

I wanted to write a little reflection on the intentions I set for myself back in January. The words I chose were savor and thrive. My intention was for those words to be a guiding force for me in making decisions—professionally and personally—through life’s different and unexpected seasons.

If I’m being quite honest, I wasn’t as intentional with those two words as I’d hoped for. When I began reflecting on how I’d embodied savor and thrive, I was a bit disappointed in myself. I recall over and over struggling to slow down enough to savor and soak in the delicious delights of the magic around me. Sometimes I struggled to see the magic at all. My soul’s unwavering whisper to slow down and lean into the present moment felt like a distant plead I often just wanted to ignore. Rushing felt easier. It feels safer. But then I’d have moments where the smell of coffee and pillowy cloud of foamed milk filled me with such child-like joy. Ahh, the simple things. The moments that feel spacious and allow me to breathe a little deeper. I think that’s just it, though: Life is the both / and. It’s not all or nothing.

I had expectations of what it would feel like to thrive. And as I often find myself doing, I realized my expectations were more idealistic than realistic. There’s no perfect season. Life doesn’t work that way—and it’s not supposed to. I’ve thrived in some areas but not in others and because of that, I didn’t necessarily see the ways in which I was thriving. My question now is: are my eyes open to seeing when I am thriving? Are my eyes open to seeing the magic in unexpected places, seasons, and people?

This year demanded me to step into uncertainty in many areas of my life. I’m sure many of you can relate. I dealt with all of the vulnerable emotions that come with change: changing jobs and taking bigs leaps of faith; navigating a breakup and leaning deeper into friendships; untangling life’s messiness and deepening my understanding of myself. Once again, the both / and.

I believe in synchronicity and that the things we are ready for come to us at the right time, whether that’s people, a spiritual lesson, a lightbulb moment, or a breakthrough in personal growth. There’s a quote I recently came by that really struck a chord:

“Thriving and struggling are not mutually exclusive.”

This got me thinking. Doesn’t struggle help us tap into our courage and resilience in ways we wouldn’t otherwise have? Doesn’t struggle help us to be more understanding and extend grace to others? Doesn’t struggle invite us into deeper reflection and spiritual enlightenment?

Doesn’t struggle remind us that there is beauty in imperfection?

I think so.

And I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t trade in these lessons for a bland life.

The things we seek in life are practices. I used to think it was more like a checklist: ok, I’ve mastered savoring, next. But anything with true meaning and richness is far greater than something that can be checked off on a list. I continue to be a work in progress and I’m learning more and more not only to accept that truth, but to feel liberated by it.

I will continue to lean into savor and thrive, accepting that those things sometimes look different than I expect. But isn’t that a kind of magic in and of itself?

I hope this little reflection resonates with you and reminds you to be a little extra gentle with yourself; a little more accepting of your less-than-perfect moments; because after all, it was never about being perfect to begin with. Practice over perfection. Intention over judgement.

That’s all for now. I want to extend a heartfelt thank you to everyone that has come to my blog. I hope it feels like a safe space for you to feel and to encounter yourself more deeply. I hope it continues to be a little sanctuary for you as it is for me. I send all my warmest wishes to you for the holidays and I’ll see you in the next year!

Serenity & love,

Colleen

6 Tips to Navigate Seasonal Affective Disorder

The first snow has blanketed the earth. My refusal to wear a coat has officially come to an end. With the changing of seasons, and evening settling in at what feels like 4pm in New York, I feel as though I was born into this world as the wrong species.

I think the bears had it right all along!

Let’s hibernate all winter?

Or actually, maybe the birds.

Bahamas from November to March, anyone?

For those of us in 4 season climates, winter can take up a large part of the year which means the combination of chilly days and extended darkness makes staying inside between 4pm-9am everyday incredibly enticing. Every year I anticipate the inevitable gray cloud that seems to follow me around as the air gets cooler. November is a particularly difficult month for me because of this. The change in season impacts my energy, mood, motivation, hobbies, everything. However, instead of resisting this inevitable reality, I’m choosing to lean in. Leaning in to the changing seasons. Leaning in to the unique gifts the cooler months have to offer. Watching the snow fall slowly. Wearing my favorite LL Bean slippers while I drink my morning coffee. The simple delights that make life full of ordinary magic.

Below are the tips I plan to implement as the chill continues to settle in and the cloudier days outnumber the sunny ones. As you read through, notice what resonates with you and what doesn’t. Pick and choose according to your genuine curiosity. And most importantly, get cozy!

1. Cultivate a cozy morning and evening routine.
The warmer months make it much easier for me to get out of bed and outside into the morning light, which not only resets the circadian rhythm, but also gently awakens my mind and senses. Although I still make a point to get out everyday, it doesn’t always happen in the morning during the cooler months. Gentle movement like yoga, a hot cup of coffee, intentional silence, and journaling are my preferred routine for the chilly, darker mornings. I love setting the tone and making life’s simple treasures a true “experience.” I don’t just make a cup of coffee, I watch it brew and allow the smell to dance and swirl into my senses.

Ask yourself: What is one thing I can do in the morning and evening to reset my mind and embrace the change in season?
Some ideas: if you’re a tea drinker, consider buying loose leaf tea at a local tea shop and make it a ceremony to brew your tea in the morning (or evening).
Pick a book of poetry to read that inspires you and resets your mind and breathing. Perform some gentle yoga postures (I love guided morning/evening yoga videos online). Buy a puzzle and invite a loved one to do it with you. Light some candles, create the space for coziness!

2. Cook a seasonal meal.
What are you hungry for? As the air gets chillier, you may find yourself craving stews and soups and hearty bread to dunk into yummy sauces. Let’s lean into that. The body is preparing for winter! One way to get familiar with different vegetables (rather than eating the same ones all the time… I’m guilty!!!) is to cook with what’s in season.
Vegetables in season: brussel sprouts, squash (acorn, butternut, spaghetti squash), sweet potato, kale, porcini mushrooms, parsnips, turnips, beets.
Fruits in season: Pomegranates, persimmons, pears, apples, cranberries.
Additional: Walnuts, almonds, pecans.
Find a new recipe or better yet, create your favorite homemade meal. Integrate the fruits and vegetables in season. You feed your mind, heart and soul when you cook in season and honor what the body desires. You can look up plenty of delicious recipes on Pinterest or, if you’re interested in a cookbook, I’ll link one of my favorites here. The recipes are wholesome, nourishing, and satisfying. The perfect trifecta!
Ask yourself: How can I nourish my body and mind with what is in season? What’s one meal I can make this week to savor?

3. Engage your mind.
It’s easy to get addicted to social media and TV especially when it’s chilly, dark, and uninspiring to be outside. While movie nights can be a fun shared experience with friends, there are plenty of things you can do to engage and stimulate your mind so that the couch isn’t your only friend during the winter months. Some ideas: Look up local workshops and see if anything sparks excitement. If you’re on a budget, be sure to check out your local library to see what is out there. Take up a craft: calligraphy, card making, origami, you name it! Take a photography class or a pottery class. The mind thrives off of creativity! Learn a new language (this one is particularly exciting to me as I’ve chosen to hirer a tutor to learn Italian and connect with my Italian roots!).
Ask yourself: What am I curious about? What is one way I can engage my mind today? Spend at least 10-15 minutes cultivating this each day. You’ll be amazed to see how much more engaged you become with life when you spread your mental wings and learn something new!

4. Get outside.
You can still embrace nature and its eternal beauty even during the winter. Because I never did any winter sports growing up, winter has always been the hardest for me to embrace. However, I find that when I consistently get outside even when it’s cold, I feel so much more invigorated and energized. Get outside in any capacity for at least 10 minutes. Perhaps it’s walking the dog or walking the neighborhood. Or if you’re walking distance from the library or your favorite cafe you can make that a part of your routine. Be intentional about getting fresh air into your lungs. You may even start to enjoy winter in a new way. Nature has so much beauty. We are creating new associations here. Colder months are cozier and I don’t know about you but that is one of my favorite things!
Ask yourself: How will I commit to getting outside? What’s one thing I noticed and cherished in nature while being outside?

5. Move your body.
Just like our body craves different foods depending on the season, notice what sort of movement your body is asking for. The seasons always have a gentle whisper of wisdom to offer us. Are you listening? I believe we receive these messages through our body and our mind. Maybe winter isn’t the time to go to spin class 4 times a week. Perhaps your body is craving something gentler, something that creates more ease. Like a snowflake falling softly from the sky, we too, can offer ease and gentleness to our own bodies as well during this season of hibernation.
As a personal trainer I am a total advocate for discipline and doing what is good for the body even if we aren’t in the mood for it. However, I believe the body has wisdom that is far beyond what the “wellness world” and science has been able to research thus far. This means we cannot override our body’s messages by forcing and pushing ourselves when our body is fighting against it. True health is honoring our body from a holistic perspective: mind, body, and spirit. Yes, getting the heart pumping is great for the cardiovascular system, however, I want you to ask yourself: what does my body truly need today? During the colder months I find myself drawn more towards strength training and restorative yoga; In the spring, I find myself more drawn to running, high intensity exercise, etc. There are ways to stay healthy and honor the season that our body is in. Try a new class at your local gym. Or join an outdoor snowshoeing group. Moving the body is so much more than “calories burned.” Follow what your body is drawn towards and see where it leads you.

Ask yourself: What sort of movement am I drawn towards right now? How can I honor my body’s physical needs for movement? If nothing comes to mind, look up some classes at your local gym or wellness center, and see what excites you!

6. Plan in intentional connection.
I love how the winter inspires me to look inward and reflect. I think that’s part of the magic of it. Watching the sparkly snow fall from the sky; reading a good book. All of these things are wonderful! However, we must balance out these moments of solitude with moments of meaningful connection. We can’t all become hermits during the winter. We need each other! Reflect on the relationships in your life that you want to cultivate and pour into. Is it a particular friend? Or a friend group? Come up with a weekly or monthly plan to see this person or friend group. It could be a gathering to watch your favorite show or a designated game night. Perhaps you meet up at a cafe and discuss a book you’ve chosen to read.

Ask yourself: Am I connected with the friendships and relationships in my life? Do I feel seen? If not, how can I foster that? How can I pour into the friendships/relationships I do have?

I hope these tips blanket your heart for the colder months ahead. For anyone who struggles with seasonal affective disorder, please know that you are not alone and there is always professional help out there as well. I’d love to hear any of your tips in the comments below. Feel free to share this post with anyone you know!

”Serious transformation begins with two commitments: the courage to try new things and act in new ways; the honesty needed to no longer hide from or lie to ourselves.” - Young Pueblo

Autumn Leaves.

Can you imagine if the autumn leaf refused to change colors? Or resisted falling off the branch to continue the rhythm of nature?

I sit within this nook of colorful trees. It’s visual poetry; my senses sing in harmony with the sound of birdsong surrounding me—pure and sweet. The sunlight on the golden leaves high up above; the way the leaves twinkle so delicately as they gently sway in the breeze, reflecting the sun’s glimmer. Then there’s the fire-red tree. Orange, yellow, red all blend together like a flame. My favorite. Sturdy and tall, the light streams through the branches, creating contrast with shadow and light. The smell of the earth and the cool air on my skin fill me with delight and a rich sense of aliveness. Could life be more magical than this very moment in time?

I watch the Autumn Leaf as she flutters and swirls from the branch above to the earth. One by one. Sweet surrender. I hear the leaf say: thank you soil for making the tree from which I came a strong and sturdy home; I now come back to you for the rhythm of nature to begin again. The leaf gracefully lands on the earth with a subtle pitter patter. A gentle kiss. She isn’t afraid to fall. The leaf knows her true home. The leaf trusts Mother Nature.

Just like the autumn leaf, our own transformation takes gracious trust and a sweet surrender.

We may not always know where we’ll land or where the wind will take us. But we can dance and swirl in the wind, effortlessly, just like the autumn leaf, knowing we’ll land exactly where we’re meant to. Haven’t we always?

Leaves falling is not tragic; it’s rebirth. Leaves changing colors is not chaos; it’s how all transformation takes place and the genesis of all new beginnings.

The leaf knows she is being carried, being held—the wind like a mother’s arms placing her down on the earth exactly where she’s meant to go. Right where she needs to be.

Could it be that the transformation taking place in me is just as beautiful as the Autumn Leaf?

The humble, delicate and oh-so-beautiful Leaf has far more to teach me than I have to teach her.
Floating daintily in the air.
Not fixated on “doing” or “striving” or “achieving” or “becoming.”
She doesn’t think about where she’s falling.
The leaf is “being.”
That’s all she knows how to do.
She just is.
Embodied wisdom.
Surrendering to the rhythm of nature.
Embracing change.
She is in the present moment, the greatest gift of all.

What if I, too, am an autumn leaf?

Transforming, embracing new beginnings, changing colors, returning to my true home—each breath, the heartbeat of life. What if I am meant to fall, too? Landing with a gentle kiss on the earth to continue the rhythm of my own transformation. Life is not meant to stay the same. That would be the real tragedy. Change, dear heart, is beautiful. Transformation and rebirth are hidden in every color and hue of the autumn leaf. Just so, they are hidden in you. Embrace the changing colors of life. Allow new beginnings to enrich you. Return to your true home—over and over again. Breathing in, breathing out. Continuing the song of life. And when the light lands upon your heart like the the golden leaves up above, smile. Because life is no small miracle.

Recovery.

September of 2013 is the last month I remember feeling decently at ease around food. As a kid I was intuitive about eating; I never questioned:  is this one meal going to completely change my body? What is going to happen to me if I eat this food?

Recovering from an eating disorder is incredibly difficult.

What I didn’t realize when I made the choice to recover from my eating disorder is that getting back to a healthy weight didn’t mean my mind went back to a healthy place. I wish it were that simple.

It’s not.

For so many reasons.

It’s a constant battle with reality because of this obvious truth: we need food to survive.

And while I still have you here, I want to make one thing very clear: your eating disorder is not your fault.

Perhaps you need to read that a few more times to really let it sink in. Please do so. I repeat: your eating disorder is not your fault.

Recovery can feel incredibly daunting like you’re looking up at a huge mountain to climb. The Mount Everest of emotional healing, if you will. Because of this, healing and freedom can feel so far away. To that, I tell you: Yes, the journey upward is hard and painful; it will open the door to difficult emotions and lies that have imprisoned you which can feel scary, dark and unfamiliar. But that is the beauty of healing: Healing is about unlocking the truth, which always leads to the gold that is within your soul. Because remember, your eating disorder is a voice of shame and judgment and that is not who you are.

To put eating disorder recovery into a different light, let’s take the basic need of sleep. Although not every aspect of an eating disorder can be compared to it—it is far more convoluted, layered and unique to everyone’s individual story than that—it may help those who’ve never been through an eating understand a little better. And to those who have experienced it, or are in the throes of it, this may put it in a new light.

Imagine spending all day thinking about sleep. Thoughts circulating in your head over and over: “When should I sleep today? Should I sleep right now? Do I need sleep right now? Should I put off sleep for just a little bit longer? What if I sleep too much? What if I look different after sleeping? Will people think differently of me if I sleep right now?” From the very moment you open your eyes in the morning these thoughts swirl inside your mind like you’re caught up in a tornado.

It sounds ludicrous, right?

That is the pervasiveness of an eating disorder because it targets something that is so essential to living. It’s a constant, tiresome battle between what the mind is telling you and reality. If you think about it, doesn’t it sound strange to question a basic need? The above scenario doesn’t even capture the social aspect of an eating disorder: not wanting to eat out with friends, not knowing what is in your food, feeling unsafe to eat outside your normal food, not wanting to miss out on meaningful memories surrounded by food but also feeling paralyzed by the thought of eating something that isn’t deemed “safe.”

The very thing you are trying to control is actually controlling you. This is an incredibly imprisoning feeling.

In addition, merely looking at a menu feels like 4,753 tabs are open in your brain. It’s so overwhelming sometimes you may forget to breathe as you scan the plethora of food options. Not only that, but once you’ve made the decision, the fear of eating it—no matter what it is—doesn’t just last while eating at the restaurant. It follows you back home, too. You think about what you ate at the restaurant long after the meal is finished. Did I mention, all the while, trying to keep a conversation going?

It’s painful to know that I’ve completely missed the point of gathering with friends or family around a table to build connection and long-lasting memories. It is not because I’m “vain” or “superficial.” It’s a deep, aching pain to know that I’m on the outside of what should be a meaningful joy-filled experience because inside I’m going through such mental torment.

This is not something one chooses.

If you have experienced an eating disorder, you know this crippling experience.

But I have good news for you: Healing is possible. While no one chooses to develop an eating disorder (We don’t wake up one day and think: “I’m going to develop an eating disorder today!”), it is your choice whether or not you stay in it. That is the difference.

The power is in you.

The question is: Do you want to heal but you just don’t know how or even where to begin? Or, perhaps you’ve begun the journey of healing, but feel as though you’re stuck somewhere in the middle.

Everyone’s journey is different and I will not pretend to have all of the answers or everything figured out. But I do know we are all braver, stronger, and more resilient than we even realize: recovery is one of the greatest revelations of this. It is an opportunity to tap into those depths. You are capable of discovering deeper healing, freedom and peace.

Below are a few tips and techniques I’ve found helpful in my recovery process. I recommend these strategies in addition to seeing a mental health counselor and ideally a dietitian if you are able to. It does take patience, consistency, trust, and courage, but remember the reason you are choosing to recover. And continue to choose that every single day. Freedom is on the other side of fear and that is worth every single effort.

Find your why.
In this first step, reflect on your own meaningful reason to recover. Find your why. Why do you want to heal? So that you can live and love more fully? Because you know you have more to offer the world and you want to shine bright again? Do you want to feel your best and be at home with who you are? Dig deep and find the deepest, most authentic reason you are choosing recovery. This will be your anchor on the days you feel like giving up; your North Star when you feel the light inside you is dwindling. You deserve to heal. Did you know that? You deserve to be healed and whole. It begins with the choice. Find your why. Write it down and put it somewhere that you will see everyday. Perhaps your bathroom mirror or on your fridge. Remind yourself you are capable and worthy of healing and it comes from choosing your “why” over and over again.

Reframe the fear.
I used to keep a gratitude journal and each night I’d write down 3 things I was grateful for. I initially started this during a time I was in the shadows of depression (did I mention eating disorders like to hangout with depression, too?). Taking a bit of a spin on that, I’ve started to document one way I faced a fear that day—you can even share this with a loved one or a friend. For example: “Instead of declining dinner with my friends today, I went out with them even though it felt really outside my comfort zone.” This may sound simple or basic, but for someone in the throes of an eating disorder, this is no small feat. It is brave. Succumbing to the fear voice in your mind always feels defeating. In this exercise, you’re using your fear as an opportunity to be stronger than your eating disorder voice. Talk about empowering (even if it doesn’t always feel that way in the moment)! Reframe the fear: take brave action. You not only realize how brave you already are, but you tap into a deeper part of yourself that has been waiting to emerge: your truest, bravest self. She was there all along.

Celebrate the tiny victories.
If you’re not familiar with the song “Tiny Victories” by Christina Perri, I urge you to listen to it (and perhaps turn it up on the days that recovery feels more difficult). She has a lyric that really nails down the healing process:

“And if battles can win a war
I can keep picking my sword up off the floor
And learn to treasure these
Tiny victories.”

Each time, every day, that you choose courage over fear is a huge victory. Every time you reframe your fear and take brave action is something to celebrate. It happens in the tiny moments throughout the day. Celebrate each step in your recovery. Do something that feels pampering to you. It doesn’t have to be extravagant, but it needs to feel like a celebration. Perhaps you pick out a succulent at the flower shop or paint your nails with a friend. You’re gaining back your life—and that is worth every reason to celebrate.

Use setbacks as data.
Since working more closely with a dietitian, I’ve experienced first hand the hills and valleys that happen in recovery. One week I will feel like I’ve made progress in leaps and bounds. And other weeks I find myself feeling like I’ve completely evacuated my own body. My nervous system feels like an alarm is going off 24/7. It’s disorienting and can make it hard to function. This is not only ok, but it is normal. Healing is not linear and having a harder day or week does not mean you’re regressing or that you’re a failure; it merely means you’re climbing the mountain and it’s getting steeper. If you think about it, the closer you get to the mountaintop, the harder your body has to work. Breathing is more labored, your body is tired and your mind is fatigued from all of the hard work. This is good news: you are nearing a breakthrough. Next time you feel set back—whatever that means in your personal recovery process—write down what led up to it: actions, behaviors, emotions, the thoughts. Write it all down. This is important data. It not only provides insights for the future, but can help get to the root of a reoccurring habit. Setbacks, taken as data, set you forward. Remember: the harder it is, the closer you are to something beautiful.

Feel your way through.
In the healing journey, you will feel an assortment of emotions: grief, sadness, joy, pleasure, fear, defeat, empowered, etc. Welcome to being a human again! One day you may feel fine and the next moment you feel sadness or grief or perhaps lightness and joy. This is how you know you’re healing because you are actually feeling. You’re moving through the emotions, not running away from them. It’s the process of un-numbing or, as my friend put it, “de-thawing.” For me, living with an eating disorder feels like I’m simultaneously numbing, running away from myself, rigid, and robotic. It’s basically the exact opposite of being a truly feeling, healing human. Instead of using food or restriction as a way to run away from my feelings or in an effort to feel safe and in control, I choose to turn toward the feeling. Oh, hello, friend. It’s you again. Lean into the vulnerability; feel your way through; this is how you know you are healing.

Get embodied: use the power of your breath.
I have found that the deepest form of healing occurs when I am truly connected, body and mind. This can be incredibly difficult when you’ve spent so long being disconnected from your body. Patience and grace are key here. In the words of my dietician: “Your body is not broken. Your body is brilliant.” It’s time to tap into that brilliance by bravely coming back into the body—this happens naturally when we are still enough to be present within ourselves. There are many great ways to do this, but one of my favorite ways is through breath work. There are tons of books and YouTube videos out there, but below is one of my favorite breath work practices that continues to help me get back into an embodied state. Please note, this is taken from Ashley Neese’s book “How To Breathe”:

The practice:
Take a comfortable seat in a chair with your feet planted on the floor.
Set an intention for the practice (As an example, mine is usually: I am present in my body. Choose one that resonates with you).
Take 5 cycles of breath: inhaling gently, exhaling softly.
With a slow inhale, imagine drawing up energy from the earth into the soles of your feet, up to your knees and back toward your hips (I like to imagine this energy as a gold light).
On the exhale, imagine the energy flowing from your hips to your knees and then back down through the soles of your feet.
Continue this for 5 minutes.
After 5 minutes, settle into your natural rhythm of breath for 1 more minute.
Close practice.
Optional: journal your experience.

Dear one, where you are today is not your final destination. You are not your eating disorder. Like the clouds parting on a foggy day, it’s time to come out from behind the gray and allow your radiance to shine again. You are needed in this world and your recovery will inspire those around you. So keep going. Lean on others for support. When you feel defeated, keep your eyes on the view ahead. You are stronger than your deepest struggle.