Life caught up to me over the past couple of weeks. I’d been go, go, go with work, relationships, and releasing my new album and I felt my inner self deteriorating. My energy was suffering. I felt less patient and more irritable. This is always my inner self speaking to me. Slow down, I’m falling behind it seems to be saying.
Yesterday, I canceled most of my plans because I knew if I didn’t slow down, I would continue to deteriorate. Alright, self, we’re going to spend some time together. I went on a walk around a beautiful reservoir nearby to where I live and felt these words whispered into my heart; a reminder:
You don’t need to strive.
Ever since battling anorexia and everything that came after that dark time, I’ve kept my eyes laser focused on healing, recovery, and inner-growth. But even this desire for greater well-being sometimes came from an unhealthy and exhausted place of striving for my sense of worth and resisting my inevitable human, imperfect self. Yesterday on my sweet, serene walk, I needed the reminder that sometimes stepping back is a form of growth.
During the season of writing Brave, I took a HUGE step back from life and made time, space and energy for solitude, silence, and stillness. I was pretty unapologetic about it. This is what my spirit needed, although it wasn’t always comfortable. A certain amount of noise and distraction is inevitable in today’s day and age—at least that’s what we’re conditioned to believe. But creativity is directly linked to our spirituality, and what my soul needed was alone time.
This was lonely at times. But absolutely necessary.
After releasing my album, I realized I needed to connect more with my relationships, so that’s what I’ve been focusing on the past few months. It’s been lovely, and fun, and rejuvenating…but with this new fast paced way of living, I slowly became exhausted.
We all need time to step back and reflect and nourish our souls. I make time for stillness every morning, but even still, I need a day here and there to further that connection. It is on these days that I’m often given the message I need to hear most.
You don’t need to strive.
Learning to accept that sometimes I feel deeply imperfect without feeling unworthy and ashamed about it is the journey I’m on. The word “imperfect” broken down literally says “I’m perfect” and although I do not reinforce being “perfect” and I know I am far from it, I do believe I am perfectly made. So every time I hear my mind tell my heart, “I’m imperfect, I’m not good enough”, my heart speaks back: I am imperfect, but I’m perfectly made and that is good enough.
Imperfection is a gift.
I would rather have imperfections that teach me to be kind and compassionate and look out for others. I would rather be vulnerable and able to create meaningful connections than never need a shoulder to cry on at all. My imperfections invite me to live more fully. The same goes for you.
What about you? What message or reminder do you feel your heart needs today? Share it below! :-)